Photographed by Natalia Mantini.
Sex between two women is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of misinformation out there. “A lot of folks coming from mainstream culture think of ‘sex’ as penetrative intercourse — a penis going into a hole. So when two people with vulvas are having sex, I think a lot of folks don’t understand how that works since there’s no penis. They may think that women can’t have sex or that the sex isn’t satisfying,” says
Liz Powell, PsyD, an LGBTQ-friendly sex educator, coach, and licensed psychologist.
To clarify some misconceptions — and, of course, to give women who have sex with other women some hot ideas — I rounded up a list of fun sex position suggestions. FYI: These aren’t just for lesbians! They can be enjoyed by queer women, bisexual women, pansexual women, or even straight-identifying women looking to explore. I
identify as queer and bisexual, I’ve had sex with both men and women, and I’m also attracted to non-binary people. Since sex between two women is often so fetishized through the male gaze, I made sure to only include positions I’ve tried and enjoyed or spoken with others who have tried and enjoyed. And I kept the sex position names to the point because I’m trying to help you, not confuse you. (You’re welcome!) Yet this is indeed a roundup of steamy sex positions, so a few might be a little out there — but trust me, they’re worth the sore back the next day.
Another important note: While the article often refers to “women,” it’s crucial to remember that some women have penises and some vulva-havers (the term the brilliant Dr. Liz often uses in her quotes) are men. Read on and enjoy — and check back, because we’ll be adding new positions regularly.
While we’re arguably more in control of and confident about our sexuality than ever, there’s still so much we don’t know about female arousal. So this month, we’re exploring everything you want and need to know about how women get turned on now. Check out more . here
To get into face-to-face pose, sit just in front of your partner as you both stretch out your legs. Let your limbs mingle until you find a position that’s comfy. And that’s it! The sky’s the limit in this position, so make it your own. Maintain eye contact to make it more intimate, use your hands to stimulate each other’s clits, or give some much-needed attention to non-genital erogenous zones (like nipples). You could even bring out the big guns (dildos) and penetrate each other. Might we suggest
this double-headed dildo?
Switch up your oral sex game by getting out of bed. In this seated variation of oral sex, the receiver sits back in a chair like the queen or king that they are. The partner providing the tongue stimulation kneels on the floor and goes to town (they can add a pillow under their knees for extra comfort). Sitting upright creates an excellent angle for the receiving partner to reach down and stroke their lover’s hair.
In spooning position, one partner lies behind the other, as their bodies connect like two spoons lined up cozily in a drawer. Since spooning is a common position for both sex and
cuddling, no matter your orientation, it’s a pose that allows for a lot of customization. When spooning with two partners with vaginas, try using a strap-on for penetrative sex from behind. Or leave the sex toys in the drawer, and simply enjoy pleasuring one another with your hands.
But don’t just focus on each other’s genitals: Utilize this comforting position to caress the breasts, butt, and legs, or even have the big spoon give the little spoon a scalp massage.
Missionary With Strap-On
Who said the
missionary position is only for straight couples? With the miracle of the strap-on, two people with vaginas can also enjoy the eye and body contact intimacy missionary provides.
Have the receiving partner lie on their back, using
pillows for comfort if making love somewhere other than a bed or sofa. The partner on top glides the strap-on into their partner’s vagina, communicating to know how fast or slow to go.
A bonus of missionary sex with a
strap-on: The two partners can take turns on one another — just make sure to use condoms as you would on a penis if outside of a fluid-bonded relationship.
In this position, an adventurous take on oral, one partner with a vagina plops down right on top of the face of the other. Getting into this position may feel awkward, so you can always start with the standard lying down oral sex position, and then switch things up once you and your partner are both aroused.
Here’s how to do it: After the giving partner lies down on their back, the receiving partner gently lifts a leg over their shoulders and then slowly squats down until their vulva makes contact with their partner’s mouth. It may require a bit of maneuvering to get it right, but it’s totally worth it.
Oral Against A Wall
In this position, one woman leans against a wall and enjoys getting her pussy eaten by another woman. It’s straightforward (well, queer-forward) but versatile. It’s also super hot for public sex, like a hook-up in a bar bathroom (for non-germaphobes) but can be done in the privacy of your own home as well. The best part is the power dynamics at play. By having one partner on her knees, the receiving partner can grab the giving partner’s face, grab her hair, and pull her mouth onto her own clit. “Some common misconceptions I hear are that all sex between two women is probably sweet and soft and loving (not true! We can go hard too),” Dr. Liz says.
If you can, offer your partner a pillow to kneel on to prevent rug burn or achy knees. It’s not a totally selfless move: After all, if the person going down on you feels more comfortable, they’ll be able to eat you out for longer.
Seated Chair With Strap-On
Having sex on chairs is fun because it means you’re doing it somewhere that’s not a bed, like perhaps a dining room chair that an unassuming guest might sit on at your next dinner party. Any time a couple has sex somewhere that’s not the bedroom deserves extra points, in my opinion. In this position, one partner wears a strap-on and the other sits on top of it and slides up and down.
“Strap-ons can be a fun way to add even more variety to sex between vulva havers. Some people love the ability to feel themselves penetrating their partner,”
Dr. Liz says. “For folks who do energy play, many will report that they can actually feel the sensations associated with the toy, almost as if they had a real penis for the duration of that play.” Keep lube nearby (like on the dining table next to the salt and pepper shaker) for more comfortable gliding, and enjoy.
Girl On Girl
I don’t need to explain this position to you because we’ve all done it, regardless of orientation, but here I go. One partner lies down and penetrates the other, using a strap-on or fingers, or you simply enjoy rubbing clits against each other while you stare lovingly into your beautiful partner’s eyes. If you’re using a dildo, enjoy an added finger in the butt. Don’t hold back with breast and nipple play (I’m talking to both of you!).
Women who have sex with other women understand how unimportant penises are. In fact, you don’t even need a strap-on to have mind-blowing sex. In this position, one parter lies back while the other uses their fingers or hands to penetrate the other. “Some vulva havers also enjoy
fisting, where you work your entire hand into the vagina. This can be a very intense sensation that many vulva havers find extremely pleasurable,” Dr. Liz says. (Important: If you’re going to try fisting, use lube, please).
Additionally, the use of hands rather than a penis or toy is a wonderful way to get to know your partner’s vagina. “You have so many nerve endings in your fingertips that you can notice much more easily all the spots that drive your partner wild,” Dr. Liz says.
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